"does he walk around all day at school, with his feet inside your shoes...

...looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you?"

i need to get out of flagstaff. out of arizona.
i get too wrapped up in my head and in my thoughts and i can't see anything that's beyond that.
jesus.
i am feeling the writing itch. ideas are slowly coming to fruition, but they haven't quite reached the point of being ready to pluck yet. soon, though, i think i will be writing again. i had a dream last night that i murdered james. i think that maybe it is a breakthrough in that part of my psyche that had been previously hindering my creative output. maybe.

but right now, all i need is "fevers and mirrors."

"so there still is hope
yes, i can be healed
there is someone looking for what i concealed
in my secret drawer, in my pockets deep
you will find the reasons that i can’t sleep
and you will still want me
but will you still want me?"